Chapter 4

In Time

Ten days since arriving home, and Dimitri has experienced nothing but pure, unadulterated boredom. Lev is out of town and her mother won’t let her hang out with any of her school friends for fear of getting sick. Even Mikhail isn’t allowed to go to the “gym” anymore. According to the news, the strange virus has continued to spread with no understandable pattern. According to Dimitri’s superstitious mother, the “curse” is spreading to those who have forsaken the gods, whatever the hell that may mean.
Dimitri rolls out of bed late in the morning once again. The sun is already high in the sky and the light is blinding when she throws her window blinds open. She catches a whiff of whatever incense her mother is burning, drifting under her closed bedroom door. Dimitri opens the window and turns on a fan in hopes of diluting the scent in the air.
She slinks out of her room, making sure the door stays closed behind her, and makes her way to the kitchen, where Mikhail has also coincidentally just made his appearance.
“Mornin’,” he tiredly mumbles, “scrambled eggs?”
“Mhm, sure.” Dimitri seats herself at the table and watches as her older brother shuffles around the kitchen, pulling a carton of liquid egg from the fridge and pouring it into a hot pan. He loads it with a heavy amount of seasonings and shredded cheese –the only way to eat the pale eggs. Despite the sizzle coming from the skillet, however, Dimitri notes that the house is oddly quiet. “Any idea where mom and dad are?”
“Huh?” Mikhail glances at her from over his shoulder, “Oh, I think they went to pick up a grocery order, they should be home within an hour.”
She taps her fingers on the counter, thinking. “Can you set some breakfast aside for me? I’ll reheat it when I get home. Gonna go for a quick run.”
Mikhail grunts in response, “Yeah, whatever. Don’t be too long, I don’t wanna have to cover for you.”
“Just text me if they get home first, I’ll figure it out.”
All remnants of sleep are shed from Dimitri as she swiftly changes clothes and throws on running shoes. She’s out the door within minutes, her stomach rumbling slightly and the pavement emanating heat. Less than ideal running conditions, but better than sitting in a stuffy household for another minute.
Dimitri scans the road outside her family home to make sure no cars are approaching and then ducks down a side street, jogging in the opposite direction as where she assumes her parents would come from. There’s little space between houses, all built from the same blueprints. They’re two story homes, each an identical rectangle with symmetrical window placements and no differences in paint jobs. Beige, beige, beige, lining the streets for miles. The paint color is a nationally approved hue to decrease heat absorption within the cities. It hardly helps, unless you consider expression an issue.
Despite having lived in the same home for her entire life, the lack of diversity and expansion of surrounding neighborhoods leave Dimitri struggling to maintain her sense of direction. She sets a timer to run for twenty minutes before turning around and shuffles her music.
Her feet find the music’s tempo and her thoughts are left behind as Dimitri locks in a running pace. The houses march by in succession, each containing different families, different lifestyles, and yet perfectly mirroring each other from across the fence, the road, the sidewalk…
The song changes and Dimitri turns down a new road, running deeper into the maze. On occasion, a car or two passes by on the road or someone is out walking a dog, but for the most part, everyone is locked inside. If not out of fear of the virus, then out of general precaution for a high smog day. In any other situation, Dimitri may not have felt safe running in the heat and low air quality, but this was a risk she was willing to take for the sake of her sanity.
Another turn and this time the view of the horizon is broken up by the skyscrapers in the city center. She pictures her parents there now, masks on and waiting for somebody to deliver groceries into their car. As far as any of them know, there have only been a few recorded cases of the virus in their southeastern city of Bratsk, as it is somewhat far from any of the northern mining towns from which the virus originated. That fact does not, however, negate any of her family’s or community’s anxieties.
Dimitri doesn’t notice the song change this time as her thoughts drift to the phone call she had with Lev the night before. He wouldn’t say much on his father’s research, but something in his voice had faltered when the topic came up. Maybe leaving the house was a bad idea after all. She coughs and can’t tell if it’s because of the thick air or because she’s thinking too hard about a distant illness. She expels the thoughts with one last cough and restarts the song that she had missed, realizing that it’s one of her favorites.
You’ve got a worried mind
I’ve got a worried heart
You don’t know what to do
I don’t know where to start
The houses march by one after another. There are no clouds in the sky, but it would be wrong to call the skies clear. The sun reaps moisture from her scalp the same way it did the riverbeds. An alarm goes off in her head, interrupting the music.
Dimitri skids to a halt and stops the incessant timer beeps coming from her phone. She looks around at reality, sobering in how surreal it really is. Not a single landmark to guide her home, she sighs and pulls up a navigation app, plugs in her home address, and turns on her heels to head back home. There’s no message from her brother, luckily, so she assumes that she’s making good time, but picks up her pace for the run back regardless.
She’s more focused while running home, making sure not to miss any turns and get lost. At the final turn, Dimitri recognizes a set of lawn chairs that have lived at the end of her road for years and sighs in relief when she counts down to her driveway, which remains empty. She practically sprints to the front door and straight inside to the shower. Dumping her sweaty clothes in her laundry hamper, she replaces them with a somewhat clean pair of shorts and loose tee from her floor. With any luck, it’ll seem like she never left the house.
By the time Dimitri is out of the shower, Mikhail has surprisingly already reheated her plate of eggs and added a fresh piece of toast. He’s in the living room next door with the TV on, as if he never got up to begin with. The door handle jiggles as Dimitri is finishing her breakfast, which may as well be a late lunch by now, and her parents enter their home, both arms full of groceries.
“A few more bags in the car, kids, come help!” Alexei yells from the foyer and both Dimitri and Mikhail begrudgingly get out of their seats and go out to the car with bare feet to retrieve the final bags of processed foods. The pavement is hot and they have to move quickly to avoid searing the soles of their feet.
The family works together to find a home for all the groceries and then the teens find their way to the couch and continue watching television. Once they’re confident that both of their parents have busied themselves with chores or work in other rooms, Mikhail mutters, “Remember when we used to sneak out for parties and shit?”
Dimitri chuckles, “And now I’ve gotta be sneaky just to go for a run. What are they going to do if I get accepted by the recruiters and have to go back to traveling?”
Another two days pass before Dimitri hears from anyone, but the news comes in the form of a phone call as she’s on the floor of her bedroom, stretching. She doesn’t recognize the number that flashes up on the screen of her phone, but answers it anyway.
The familiar accented voice of Ariana is on the other line. “Is this Dimitri… Tso- Tsovetsky?”
Dimitri tries to hide the nerves from her voice as she responds, “Da, this is her.” She stands up and exits her room. It’s late enough in the afternoon that the rest of her family is together on the couch, watching the news. Ariana is reintroducing herself as Dimitri steals the TV remote from the side table by her father and presses the power button, rendering the rest of the room quiet.
“ –we are aware of your country’s current state and completely understand if you need some time to think on this offer, but after much deliberation and many performances, we would love to have you as part of the international troupe.”
Dimitri can hardly contain her excitement. The family has quickly understood what is going on and watches her reaction eagerly. The guys can also hardly hide their anticipation, but Dimitri can’t help but notice her mother habitually bringing her hand to her mouth to chew on her nails.
“Again, we don’t need an answer right now, you’re welcome to call me back at this number–”
“No need, I would love to join. Thank you so much!” Dimitri avoids eye contact with her mother as she says this.
“Oh! That was fast. Well, since you are under 18, we do still need parental permission, so we will be emailing a waiver and permission form to the address that your dance teacher gave us and ask that you print, sign, and return it via mail or email a digital copy within the month. Once we have that, I will once again be in contact about moving you and others to Europe for rehearsals leading up to the performance.”
“Perfect! I can’t thank you enough! I think I might cry, this is such an incredible opportunity! Has anyone else from my troupe confirmed?”
“Well, I haven’t finished making calls this week, so I can’t tell you. We like to keep it all under wraps until everybody knows. That said, I ask that you don’t tell anybody outside of your family until your coach gives the go-ahead that we are done making calls. Should only be another day or so. Any other questions?”
“Okay, good to know… Only talk to my family about it, I guess I can do that. But no, no more questions right now, but I’m sure I’ll have more later.”
Ariana laughs from the other end, “Alright, then I look forward to hearing from you again, those forms will be in your inbox by the end of the day as well as some more helpful information. Have a great evening!”
Dimitri speeds through another thank you and is barely able to say goodbye before the line is cut off from the other end. She sets her phone down next to the TV remote and stands, speechless, in front of her family.
Alexei is the first to stand and pull her into a hug, “I told you, Di! They would have been fools to pass you up! Bravo! You deserve this after all of the hard work you have put in!” He releases her, but holds her shoulders at arms length, where he can look into her eyes as they begin to swell with tears. She’s smiling ear to ear.
Mikhail offers a “fuck yeah” without standing up, but pumps his fist in the air in solidarity.
Katya, however, is the last to show any enthusiasm. She stands carefully, still chewing on the nail of her thumb. “This is great…”
“No need to sound too enthusiastic, Mom.” It’s Mikhail that lets the comment slip.
Katya side-eyes him before looking back at her daughter. “Of course I am excited for you, this is great news, and you do deserve this. You know I am just worried about your safety, right? And you already confirmed without asking us or getting any of the travel details or possible timeline…” She drifts off, her thoughts clearly racing.
Dimitri responds to her mother warmly. “Of course, Mama. Don’t worry, my confirmation means nothing until you and Dad sign a release form. She said that they are giving everyone a month to decide because they are aware of Russia’s current lock down. There is no rush, I’m sure the situation will become more clear soon enough.”
Her mother relaxes, but only slightly.
“Okay,” Dimitri picks her phone back up and allows the excitement to return, “I need to call Lev.”
In her room, Dimitri shuts her door, sits on the edge of her bed, and calls her best friend. The call goes straight to voicemail. Confused, she tries again, but again it goes straight to voicemail. Lev never has his phone off. She decides to try one more time and this time it goes through. She leaves her phone on the bed on speaker and begins pacing back and forth across her room.
It rings probably ten times before he picks up, “Girl, calm down, I was already on the phone, can I have 30 seconds to breathe?”
“No, you can’t. Who were you on the phone with?”
“Dayumm Di, maybe it’s not your business!” His tone is unserious and he laughs at the end of the statement.
“Ohmygod Lev, I know you know why I’m calling. You go first, though.”
“Excuse you, I was told NOT to tell anybody outside of family, why should you be an exception?”
She scoffs.
“Besides, if you’re so eager, why don’t you go first?”
“Fine, I will!” Dimitri is no longer pacing and instead stands over her phone with her arms crossed. She mimics a Portuguese accent to the best of her ability, speaking as if she’s Ariana Cortez herself, “We know your country is fucked up right now, but WE want YOU to join our prestigious, possibly culty but totally life-changing ballet troupe!”
They both squeal in unison and then Lev responds, “Have you heard from anyone else?”
“Nope, the others are probably better about keeping their mouths shut. I won’t tell anyone else, not sure how few dancers they’re actually taking and I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.”
“And you didn’t care about my feelings or did you assume the best for me?”
Dimitri snorts out a laugh, “You could say it was both. I’m also assuming your parents are already waiting impatiently to sign those forms and send you away?”
Lev grumbles, “I think they’ve been refreshing the email inbox every 30 seconds since I got the news. What about your parents?”
“It’ll probably take some convincing for my mom to sign the release forms, honestly. I’m hoping that she’ll be more comfortable with the fact that we’ll actually be out of the country. That said, you don’t happen to have any good news from your dad’s research team, do you?”
“He doesn’t say much, sorry.”
Dimitri sighs, “That’s alright. No news is good news, right?”
“Right.” Another muffled voice comes from Lev’s line and he sighs as well, “My mom is calling me to dinner, gotta go. But hey, this is great, Di! We’re going to Europe to perform for the world leaders?! Insanity. Anyway, I’ll be around in a couple of days, hopefully by the time everyone knows their status.”
“Ugh, thank the gods. Take it easy, Lev.”
He mumbles one more “later” and then hangs up. With that, Dimitri ditches her phone and returns to the living room, where her family is waiting.
*****
According to the local news, no new cases of the Ice Flu, as it has been nicknamed, have been recorded in Bratsk for the past week. With this update, many people have come to the conclusion that it is safe to return to their daily lives. A mass text from Coach Yelchin beckons the ballet troupe back to practice on Monday –following the week that everyone got the news on whether or not they were offered a place on the elite dance team. Aside from Lev, Dimitri remains unaware of who else will be joining her on the team and has been waiting for this text in anticipation. It takes Dimitri all weekend to convince her mother to let her go to practice with the team.
“Mama, nobody is allowed to go if they’ve felt sick in any way. We have all been quarantining the past two weeks since the performance.”
“Lev has not been, he has been traveling with his parents, no?” Katya is tired of the same conversation they’ve been having the past two days.
“I mean, yeah, but they’ve been in a medical research facility! It can’t get more sterile than that, right? Besides, if this is just a curse like you say, wouldn’t that mean that it’s not even contagious in the same way viruses are? You’ve filled my lungs with enough altar smoke in this household, I don’t think there’s any more room in my body for curses OR flus.”
Mikhail can be heard choking down a laugh from the other room.
“Would you like to add something to the conversation, Mikhail?” their mother’s brows are knit together like a high quality winter sweater.
He’s caught off guard and doesn’t have time to come up with a considerate response, “I mean, she has a point…” The sounds of his feet scuttling down the hallway fills the silence.
Dimitri is left trying to hold back her own amusement. “Okay hear me out, Mama. You give me a ride to and from practice instead of Lev, I will accept whatever old blessings you want to do AND smudge all of my gear after practice, before even getting back in the car.”
“You mock our traditions, Dimitri. I am sick of this, go to practice, go to Europe, clearly you will not heed the warnings of your mother or your gods, no matter what.” The sweater has been unraveled, revealing a sad space behind her eyes.
Katya leaves Dimitri alone in the room with the lingering smell of Palo Santo and something else familiar that Dimitri can’t quite place –a mix of spices, maybe. For a moment, she glimpses the memory of a circus tent from years ago, like a movie reel projected onto a smoke screen. There’s substance to the words of faith that her mother has spoken to her today, more so than Dimitri has felt since she was in that tent. A shiver runs down her spine and for a moment, Dimitri feels guilty for what she’s said to her mother and having clearly hurt her feelings and forsaken their gods, but at the same time, she did get what she wanted.
Dimitri sends a text to Lev, asking him to pick her up for practice tomorrow, and almost immediately gets a thumbs up in response.
*****
“Alright everyone!” Coach Yelchin yells over the chatter in the room, demanding everyone’s attention. “Let’s address the bear in the room so we can focus on practice today, yeah? Some of you have been selected to perform in Berlin at the end of the year. I am going to list those dancers and then ask that you save the drama for after practice. First and foremost, we are a family here, so we will continue to train as such, together.” She allows the room a moment of silence before clearing her throat and continuing. “Adrian, Lev, Christian, Laney, Dimitri, Kira, and Mila. Congratulations, dancers, you all deserve it. Really, ALL of you deserve it after all the hard work I’ve seen you put in, but it wasn’t my choice on who gets to go. Anyway! As long as we’re all here and healthy, we have work to do. Everybody to a barre! You have ten minutes to warm up and talk.”
The seven who were called all meet on one wall to warm up together, with the addition of Pari, whom Laney drags along with them.
Laney speaks before anyone else can, “Pari here, was offered a position, if she were to be willing to leave the hijab at home. She deserves to be a part of our celebrations as well.”
Pari is somewhat hiding her face under her hijab and looks embarrassed to be there but manages to smile regardless. “I declined the offer, obviously, and asked the coach not to announce it. Laney, however, clearly felt the need to announce it anyway.”
Laney looks guilty but responds smugly, “Not to the whole troupe, at least. C’mon Pari, you deserve the recognition just as much, if not more than the rest of us.”
Everyone in the group mumbles their agreements and then Dimitri scoffs, “I mean are we surprised? They’re pretty clearly pushing the religious shit, I’m surprised the rest of us didn’t get interrogated to make sure we’re all on the same page.”
“Bold coming from someone who smells like they just came from some traditional Slavic ritual.” Lev pokes fun and then turns to Pari, “I’m sorry it came down to that, Pari, I really wish you could join us in Berlin, but you’re welcome to join us at my parent’s place Friday for dinner, they’ve invited everyone over to celebrate.”
She smiles, “I appreciate it, Lev, but that’s okay. Your parents haven’t always looked overly kindly at me, and I’ll still have evening Namaz.”
“That’s… fair.” Lev grimaces a bit at having to acknowledge his parents’ own prejudices.
Laney chimes in as well, “Sorry Lev, I think I’ll have to pass as well. My parents are limiting Anton and I to essentials only when it comes to leaving the house. I’m not even sure if I’m going to accept the recruitment offer yet either.”
“I guess that doesn’t surprise me, Anton mentioned that the other day when I said I’m back in town.” He sighs.
Laney and Dimitri share a look and then Laney adds through a giggle, “Well, Anton is picking me up from practice all week so feel free to come say hi at least.”
Lev perks up a bit but keeps it together and turns to the rest of the group, “You all up for dinner at the end of the week, at least? I’d like to let my parents know how many to expect.”
The remaining four confirm and they all chat for a few more minutes until the coaches get everyone’s attention again. Coach Yelchin is anything but generous in keeping them on track for the rest of practice and by the time it’s over, everyone is exhausted and sore.
Every day of practice is the same tiring routine, but the athletes are glad to be back at it. Lev gives Dimitri a ride to and from the dance studio and they hang out late after practice to talk to Anton and Laney. When Friday finally comes around, Lev clarifies a dinner time with the four other recruits that agreed to join.
Dimitri and Lev leave practice together –Dimitri having decided to shower and change at Lev’s place in order to avoid an argument with her mother about dinner. She sends a text to each of her parents regardless, just to let them know where she is. Her father responds with a thumbs up and a “be safe,” but the message to her mother is left on read. Dimitri swallows the guilt that rises in her throat.
At Lev’s house that evening, the Novikovs are as proper as ever. Classical music plays softly from a speaker and the dining table is set like they’re in a royal court. On top of the room’s appearance, Lev’s parents will never pass up an opportunity to look the part of royalty themselves. They’re not wearing anything as extravagant as Dimitri has seen before, but Mr. Novikov’s hair is neatly styled and he wears slacks and a dress shirt. Mrs. Novikov, per usual, is in an elegant dress, albeit this one is a simple and modest stone gray. They have an image to uphold, but what that image is exactly, Dimitri has never quite figured out.
Adrian and Christian arrive together about ten minutes before 6, the agreed upon time, in jeans and plain t-shirts, but lean in close to Lev when they see his parents to ask if they need to change.
“No, you’re fine, this is just how they are.” Lev says so, yet also wears a simple dress shirt and slacks.
The two boys don’t relax until they look past Lev to Dimitri, already seated at the dining table, teetering back in her chair and wearing loose joggers and a vintage Russian band tee. Her hair is pulled back in a loose, messy braid and she nearly falls backwards waving at the guys. She catches herself, placing all four chair legs back on the floor with a thud and receives a nasty glare from Lev’s parents, who have begun serving food onto the plates around the table. The other teens hold back laughter and then the two girls arrive before they’ve all even left the foyer. Even Kira and Mila are dressed nicer than Dimitri, but that doesn’t take much.
Dimitri doesn’t stand to meet the guests once their shoes are off and they enter the dining room, but she scans them all and quickly explains herself, “To be fair, I didn’t go home after practice to get a proper change of clothes.”
Lev’s mother doesn’t look pleased by any means, but stretches her lips in amusement, “Yes, we know your situation, Di, we don’t need the excuse.” She turns to everyone else, releasing some of the stiffness in her shoulders, “Welcome in to the rest of you. Adrian, it’s great to see you, but I don’t believe we’ve properly met Christian or the girls. Lev, introduce everyone, would you?”
In his most professional voice, Lev introduces Christian, Kira and Mila to his parents and then they all take a seat. In front of each of them is a beautifully plated meal consisting of a pale meat with the consistency of fish but flavor of poultry, steamed vegetables of every color, and fluffed brown rice.
Lev’s father leads them all in prayer, during which Dimitri respectfully declines to bow her head, and then he gives a short monologue before allowing everyone to eat, “Congratulations, all of you! We are honored to see our son as well as his teammates be offered such prestigious positions. In spite of all this silly pandemic business –which, I will add, is being absolutely blown out of proportion, my lab has practically developed a vaccine, we just need to officially test it– anyways, despite all of this, you are all so very privileged to receive such an opportunity.
“That said, our sister facility has recently developed this meat, so let me know if you guys like it so that I can pass on the message. You all should be very grateful to live in a time of such human advancement, as gifted by God. We are truly at the pinnacle of our time.”
Dimitri does everything in her power not to roll her eyes and instead raises her glass of sparkling water with the rest of the table. A cheers to opportunity, curses, and fate.
*****
On Saturday morning, Dimitri wakes up to a phone call from Lev, but just misses it as she regains consciousness. Through tired eyes, she shoots him a text. “Just woke up, what’s up?”
There’s no response for several minutes, so Dimitri calls him. The phone rings several times before he picks up and groans a hello.
“Dobroye utro, good morning, Lev, you called, everything okay?”
“No, I feel like der’mo, like shit. Do you not feel sick?”
Dimitri hesitates, “I mean, I just woke up, so maybe groggy, but that’s it. What kind of sick?” There’s a lump rising in her throat as she asks.
“Like I have a migraine but worse. I would have texted you if I could properly read my phone screen, but every time I open my eyes, the world feels like it is spinning.”
The lump lodges tightly, but she finally manages to get a few words past it, “I hope you’re fucking with me, man.”
“Nyet, Di, and I think my parents are the same. I have not heard them get up this morning.”
“Woah, relax, maybe they slept in too, they seemed a bit tipsy last night while we were all leaving.”
“They weren’t drinking alcohol, Di.” His voice is unusually monotone and strains to get any urgency across. “I called an ambulance to our home.”
“Yebat, it’s that serious?” Dimitri spits the curse out.
“My dad recently said something about catching it early being the best chance anyone has. If we are sick, you or others could be too…”
“Yebat, fuck! Ok, I’ll text the team if you want me to… but Lev, I’m sure you are all fine, try to keep me updated from the hospital, okay?”
Lev grunts in response and Dimitri can hear the faint sound of sirens crackling through from Lev’s end of the line, confirming the situation, before he hangs up. She immediately begins texting the girls from the previous night’s dinner, as well as Laney.
Dimitri forces herself out of bed before any responses can come and shuffles urgently down the hallway. Mikhail’s bedroom door is closed as she passes by on her way to the kitchen, so she avoids calling out to her parents to let her brother sleep. Dimitri continues through the house until she can hear her parents talking in the kitchen over their morning coffee. She slips into the room and goes to interrupt their conversation, but is startled by an unexpected third person in the room with them.
Seated between her parents at the kitchen table is something like a skeleton with skin draped over the shoulders like a coat that’s three sizes too large. If not for the knobby fingers slowly tapping the cup of tea cradled in her hands, Dimitri would have never guessed that the person could still be alive. Wispy strands of white hair frame the old woman’s hooked nose and dark eyes that glitter with a light of one recognizing an old friend. Dimitri can smell the mulled wine from a circus tent deep in her memories and suddenly feels the slow rise and fall of a bear revolving around the earth’s axis.